"Live the life you love, Love the life you live." That is the quote that you can read on my necklace that I wear everyday. I wear it everyday but I never think about what those words mean everyday. Throughout my life I've had the struggle of loving my life, how could I when I wasn't sure if I wanted it. We are all in this world wondering why? What is the purpose of life? Maybe some of us wonder about that more than others, and I just happen to be one of those people. I know I'll probably won't be famous or be known for something historical, but I can only hope to make a difference in someones life. To make someone see that their life does matter. That you should always should follow your dreams, cause I didn't, I haven't; to the point that I don't know what my dreams are anymore.
I'm 24 years old and I have no career, I just had the first taste of paying for my own doctors appointment. And wow I just feel soooo not ready for life. I almost had a breakdown the other day setting up a doctors appointment (something I never had to do before just recently.) I realized how much I still rely on my parents. Sure I don't live with them but they still pay my phone bill, I felt the need for my mom to come to my doctors appointment with me. (Even in the room while I was talking to the doctor.) I used to feel so grown up but lately I've been feeling very childish and naive. I don't know what I would do without my parents, I'd be so lost.... more lost than I already am.
Anyways on a more positive note I have a doctor now and she's nearby and I can finally start taking responsibility of my health, next step is to workout more. And with the help of T that's been pretty easy, we've been going on walks more often and playing basketball together. Soon though I want to step it up and start losing weight again, not just for my health but for my confidence. I've learned to accept my body for what it is because it's the only one I will have, but my body is my temple and lately I've been abusing it. My health has gone down the drain in the past year or two and I need to gain control of my life.
One of my Facebook friends posted something that made me think about my life and my health, "The word diet comes from the Latin word "Dieta" meaning, "Way of Life." So if you hate diets, it means you hate your way of life... Or maybe you're not in control of it?" I haven't been in control of my life since I moved out of my parents house and it's probably because I'm so used to their guidance. I thought moving out of my parent house would mean to gain control of my life and I guess it kind of did, but I crashed it right into a ditch. Now its time to figure out my way out of this ditch.......
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