I don't think I can do this anymore, I don't want to smother T but I don't want him talking to all these other girls. I think he made a new Skype account and is just being a camera whore with these other girls and I guess some would argue it's just online but in any case it's a sexual act and I just don't like it. He always argues that we aren't in a relationship and we aren't but is it so bad that I want one with him? Why is he the only one who doesn't see that?
I feel like I'm just a toy he likes to play with, he tries to assure me he feels the same way but actions always speak louder than words. Clearly we don't agree on what is right and wrong, I don't know anymore. I'm getting really tired of feeling like I'm his entertainment and when I'm not here he has no problem finding other girls to entertain him. I don't think I can do this I think I need to just realize me and t are only going to be friends and I need to start looking for someone who will appreciate me.
I thought that finding older guys would mean they are more mature and up front about things but I guess I was wrong. I wish I could just find someone who realizes what he has. I just feel like I've been investing my everything in whatever kind of relationship me and t have and I've been getting a half ass appreciation (if any).
I'm not going to include a song today because I'm writing on my cell phone but if you want to look up on YouTube my song for today would have been confidence by Joe dub I've gained a lot of confidence and I only have more to gain and I'm starting to stand up for myself and soon enough ain't nobody gunna stop me.
