A year...

So I thought today was gunna be a really hard day for me since it has been exactly a year since J's arrest. It's weird some days it feels like it happened years ago and on other days it's like it happened last week. It was hard today  especially when I looked at the clock. I couldn't help but look and try to think where were we at this time a year ago? 

I wish I could hear J's voice, if I could have one wish that would be it. I can't lie to myself I'm still in love with him and I'm starting to think that there really is no one out there like him. It's annoying how growing up we're told there's one person who is meant for us and blah blah blah but then when you start dating and you get dumped and you can't move on people all of a sudden change their minds and say there is someone else out there. 

Anyways gunna keep this post short... I picked "Motivation" by Kelly Rowland because it was one of mine n J's songs. And after everything happened I've found a different (nonsexual) way that I want to be a motivation for J and be there for him through his recovery if he chooses to be sober. (my fingers are crossed that he has been sober in jail/prison and plans on staying sober when he is released)