Who to turn to?

I've been tested throughout this year and I don't know how I've done on making decisions. I wish I had someone I could turn to for answers but this is a matter I need to handle myself. Its hard though cause my decision has an effect on so many people when it comes to J and I. I've been trying to just let time answer all my questions but it's not. I've been hoping I would find someone to help me forget about J but no one can compare. I was a queen when I was with J. When he was sober he cooked me breakfast, lunch, and dinner all the time, he provided for me when he could, he cared for me when I was upset, he heeled me when I was in pain(not because of him... I play sports), and he would just listen to me when that was all I needed. 

J was my best friend, my rock, and I loved him. But now after everything what do I do? I want to hold on the the sober J I want him to see that when he is sober is when things workout. We never fought in our relationship unless we were using. We were chasing dreams and I guess his dreams got a bit off track. If J was to be on track and plan on staying on track I would consider being in his life (not necessarily a romantic relationship but at least a friendship) but I can't have what happened last year ever happen again. I will be strong enough to tell him that if I need to. But until he is out and has at least a year and a half outside of prison, I will just have to live my life. I don't want to deal with something that I don't have to until many years later. 

So I was gunna put "I Turned to You" by Christina Aguilera but I don't really have that person to turn to... so the song for this post is "You Don't Know Her Like I Do" by Brantley Gilbert. This song has been a favorite of mine for a LONG TIME. No one really knows mine and J's relationship the way we do and no one in my family or friends knows J the way I know him. People always try to tell me I'll stop hurting and I'll move on but I just don't see that happening. I don't think I'll be able to find a guy that treats me like J and makes me feel the way J made me feel.