There is so much that I'm thankful for this year. Thanksgiving hasn't really been that important to me previous years, but it was a great time with the family and friends I had. This year its got a whole new meaning to me. I'm so thankful to be living and before last December I really didn't care to live. I'm thankful that J was in my life even if December happened, he taught me a lot and I learned a lot about myself through everything that happened. I've grown stronger because of everything. I'm thankful for his family who accepted me in their family and especially his mom and sister who helped me in a time in need, even though it meant going against J. I'm thankful for my family and all the second chances and support that they have given to me. I'm thankful for all the friends who have been in my life, you guys really helped me through a lot of times and I glad to have such greats friends. I'm thankful for my two best friends, Riley and Cody, my dogs, for even though they can't talk they are great listeners and bring great joy to me. And last but not least, this year I'm thankful for me. I'm thankful for the person I've become, I'm thankful that I still have hopes and dreams, and I'm thankful that I still have some motivation in me to reach those dreams of mine.
Although I've been a bit down in the dumps lately, Thanksgiving has put a little spark in me. Yet there is no denying that J is on my mind. I remember going over to J's house last year for dessert for Thanksgiving night. I remember how he held me and whispered what he was grateful for. I miss J and the memories that I have as so vivid that it doesn't help. I feel like everyone is getting tired of me talking about J but I can't help it; I speak what's on my mind and he's on it. I've been accidentally calling one of my guy friends by J's name when really he's and P-name. It's almost been a year and I still feel the same way about J, but I know what I have to do now and I know that for my sake I can't use ever again.
So today's song is "Be Yourself" by Audioslave, aside from the emotional shit I go through at this time of year, fall/winter is my favorite part of the year. I love the way the leaves change colors and cover the streets, I love the sunny days after a rainy day and the way the water makes everything glitter and glisten in the sun. So with that being said this is my favorite time of year for some cruising on the back roads just enjoy the scenery and listening to music. This song is one of my favorite cruising songs makes me feel at ease and peaceful.
I hope you have a great Thanksgiving and I encourage you to reach out to those who have helped you in any ways and tell them that you are grateful for their help and their friendship. Tell the people you love how much you care. But most importantly don't forget to be thankful for yourself, be thankful for what you have been through and how far you've gone, be thankful that you have people who love and care about you, and be thankful that people are grateful for you, because I'm thankful for all of my readers. I love that I can share my stories even though I'm just a common person and people actually take the time to read my posts. So thank you.
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