With J's court date tomorrow I'm nervous and trying not to think about it. My father and I got in an argument because I wouldn't let him read my "Victim Impact Statement." My family and I don't really see eye to eye on this situation. They just don't know J the way I do and it's just annoying having them judge him so quickly and wrongly. I know where they are coming from but I mean they need to see that not all the blame can be put on J. I too had the decision to use and to get in the car with him. It's hard to think about tomorrow because it can change the rest of my life. I still don't know what J feels for me or if he has a strong hatred for me. And maybe I'm an idiot for still having such strong feelings for him. I still find myself crying to sleep every once in a while and recently I haven't been sleeping well and waking up drenched in tears. I remember how much I cried on the night of the 17th. I knew that my life just got very complicating but I NEVER would have thought that I would still have feelings for him. I feel like I'm causing all this confusion because I insist on holding on to whatever we might have left and hoping that he's holding on too. I'm nervous to see what will happen but I'm hoping that the court will allow me and J to send letters to each other and I can't wait to see him.... the only bright side I find in all of this is that I get to see his face and hear his voice tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment