I hate that I have so many feelings for T cause I know he's not ready for a relationship and he wants to be single. And it hurts to be the one on the side. Just here when he wants at his own convenience. Here I am hoping that if I continue doing all these things for him he will eventually actually be ready for a relationship. I just wish I didn't have to go through all this questioning. I'm getting so frustrated with things. With my mind overwhelmed with T I haven't thought of J in a long time.
I've been frustrated with T it's his birthday tomorrow and I wanted to make him feel special but it just seem like he's not happy. It's frustrating that all that I do for him is nothing. I don't get it. But with tomorrow being his birthday all I can do is bite my tounge and pretend not to be so hurt.
School is starting in a few weeks and I can't wait. Maybe it will give me some time to think and just get away. I need to just get some space but when I get that space I'm stressed cause I know what he's doing while I'm gone. It's just ugh I don't know, I've never been this stuck. I care a lot about T but lately I feel like he could care less about me.
Maybe I am just the one on the side for him. I'm just a piece of ass when he wants it. I'm the company he misses. It sucks cause I don't want to be the one on the side I want to be the one by his side. But in the end I'm getting hurt from this and I'm starting to fall back into my depression, well maybe more like worthless. I just wish I could be enough for him.
I chose the song "Good Enough" by Evanescence because I think I'm good enough for T but I feel like he doesn't think the same. Am I good enough for T? Or could I even be too good for him? Maybe I deserve someone who will actually appreicate everything I do for him.
I've been frustrated with T it's his birthday tomorrow and I wanted to make him feel special but it just seem like he's not happy. It's frustrating that all that I do for him is nothing. I don't get it. But with tomorrow being his birthday all I can do is bite my tounge and pretend not to be so hurt.
School is starting in a few weeks and I can't wait. Maybe it will give me some time to think and just get away. I need to just get some space but when I get that space I'm stressed cause I know what he's doing while I'm gone. It's just ugh I don't know, I've never been this stuck. I care a lot about T but lately I feel like he could care less about me.
Maybe I am just the one on the side for him. I'm just a piece of ass when he wants it. I'm the company he misses. It sucks cause I don't want to be the one on the side I want to be the one by his side. But in the end I'm getting hurt from this and I'm starting to fall back into my depression, well maybe more like worthless. I just wish I could be enough for him.
I chose the song "Good Enough" by Evanescence because I think I'm good enough for T but I feel like he doesn't think the same. Am I good enough for T? Or could I even be too good for him? Maybe I deserve someone who will actually appreicate everything I do for him.
No comments:
Post a Comment