School is starting for me next Monday and although I'm excited to get done with my classes and what not I was really beginning to enjoy my break. I started a book, Tweak, by Nic Sheff and I haven't been able to put it down since I've checked it out at the library. The book dives into Nic's story of his struggle with his addiction to Meth. The feelings that he describes are nothing to what I felt, but maybe it's how J felt. Thankfully I never got the addiction or the needing of the drug. Sure I've had cravings but none strong enough for me to make the call. I know I can't compare J's and Nic's addictions but being able to read Nic's story of his addiction and his recovery kinda give me an in sight of what road J will (hopefully) be taking.
After looking into many books and some documentaries of meth addictions I've learned so much and in a way grown from the information. I still fear that J is powerless when it comes to addiction. I've heard from his friends about his tattoo (his family's name across his back) that he got in prison yet I haven't heard anything about recovering from his addiction. While in jail J went through many drug programs and earned a lot of credits to shorten his time in prison. But I haven't heard anything more on that. I'm hoping that the words I've passed on will not give him a reason but a motivation for recovering. I don't want to be a reason cause when another person (besides the addict) is the "reason" for sobriety, the sobriety rarely stays. I hope he has his own reasons on wanting to be clean and hopefully he has a lot of motives to help him get started on his recovery.
My grades from last semester came in today and I'm honestly really proud of myself. I've never had such a good semester, I only hope to continue my success with school, even though it's a lot of work. I never wanted to put in the effort of studying for school; I was always focused more on my social life. But ever since I've been "emotionally unbalanced" (as I like to say it) I've been able to focus on school and my own goals and I couldn't be happier with the outcome so far. I'm gaining my confidence back but it's stronger and more stable. In a way 2011 helped me get to where I am today, I learned how valuable life is and I don't want to waste it away anymore.
I was watching a movie tonight and on of the characters claimed he didn't believe in mistakes because the mistakes we made lead us to the people we are, this spoke loudly to me. I've made many, many mistakes and I still do and I'm sure I always will but it's those mistakes who have shaped me into the person I am. It's those mistakes that made me stronger than I ever thought I could be. It's those mistakes and my survival through them that makes me proud to be me. Sound a bit self centered but I've never been proud to claim the person I am, I have always been ashamed of my self for countless reason: my looks, my behavior, my thoughts, my likes, my dislikes... the list goes on. It feels so nice to finally love myself for who I am.
I picked "Don't Rush" by Joey Diamond for this post. Joey is a youTube legend whom I met (okay so I only sent one message to see if he was the same Joey who I found in multiple youTube videos) on an online dating site. I love his voice and many of his songs are similar to some of things I feel. This song reminds me of how I feel about if J ever comes back into my life again.
After looking into many books and some documentaries of meth addictions I've learned so much and in a way grown from the information. I still fear that J is powerless when it comes to addiction. I've heard from his friends about his tattoo (his family's name across his back) that he got in prison yet I haven't heard anything about recovering from his addiction. While in jail J went through many drug programs and earned a lot of credits to shorten his time in prison. But I haven't heard anything more on that. I'm hoping that the words I've passed on will not give him a reason but a motivation for recovering. I don't want to be a reason cause when another person (besides the addict) is the "reason" for sobriety, the sobriety rarely stays. I hope he has his own reasons on wanting to be clean and hopefully he has a lot of motives to help him get started on his recovery.
My grades from last semester came in today and I'm honestly really proud of myself. I've never had such a good semester, I only hope to continue my success with school, even though it's a lot of work. I never wanted to put in the effort of studying for school; I was always focused more on my social life. But ever since I've been "emotionally unbalanced" (as I like to say it) I've been able to focus on school and my own goals and I couldn't be happier with the outcome so far. I'm gaining my confidence back but it's stronger and more stable. In a way 2011 helped me get to where I am today, I learned how valuable life is and I don't want to waste it away anymore.
I was watching a movie tonight and on of the characters claimed he didn't believe in mistakes because the mistakes we made lead us to the people we are, this spoke loudly to me. I've made many, many mistakes and I still do and I'm sure I always will but it's those mistakes who have shaped me into the person I am. It's those mistakes that made me stronger than I ever thought I could be. It's those mistakes and my survival through them that makes me proud to be me. Sound a bit self centered but I've never been proud to claim the person I am, I have always been ashamed of my self for countless reason: my looks, my behavior, my thoughts, my likes, my dislikes... the list goes on. It feels so nice to finally love myself for who I am.
I picked "Don't Rush" by Joey Diamond for this post. Joey is a youTube legend whom I met (okay so I only sent one message to see if he was the same Joey who I found in multiple youTube videos) on an online dating site. I love his voice and many of his songs are similar to some of things I feel. This song reminds me of how I feel about if J ever comes back into my life again.
My students read that book last year and there is another one Called Beautiful Boy which was written by Nic's father from his perspective. I read that one and then both Nic and his dad came to SSU to talk about it. I would check that book out too. Both are great :)
ReplyDeleteYes I loved that book I read it a few years ago and I put two and two together the day I checked out Nic's book. Have you read Nic's second book "We All Fall Down" I'm waiting to finish the first to read it.
ReplyDelete