Scared to be Judged

Growing up I was told to follow my heart, and was shown to never give up on the ones you love and care about. So why should I give up on J? I've been one to not really care what people think of me, until those people are my family and friends. I'm scared that everyone in my life will think less of me, that I'm weak, stupid, foolish. But love makes us weak in the knees, it makes us stupid at times and definitely makes us foolish. In the end no one can really tell me what to do with my life and no one can really give me the advise I have been desperately seeking, since no one knew the relationship J and I had better than we did. 

But do I put my life on pause because of this? Definitely not my school life, but my "love" life. Although right now its already non-existent. It's definitely less complicating when you're single and keeping to yourself, and Lord knows I definitely don't need anything to complicate things in my life any more than it already is. I don't know where my life will go and who I will be in the years to come. So I really don't know what will happen between J and I, and it kills me that all I can do is wait.

So I changed the video of the week, since while I was making my bed "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls came on, and well it just hit hard. Songs are written to help the artist connect to their fans, I feel like this song explains how I feel right now.