I hate that I miss him, I hate that I still think of him and I hate that he still has a part of my heart. It's wrong to love or care for someone who did what he did to me. It's so hard to deal with this; at times I find myself wanting to just walk away. Just pack up my bags and leave everything here behind. But no matter how much I would run, my memories would follow me everywhere. It's hard to escape when the place you want to escape from is your own mind.
It's like no matter what I do and how much I try to move on from J something is still pulling me back and not letting me let go. I finally have some anger built up towards J, yet a part of my stupid heart holds onto him. It doesn't help when I see pictures of him on his sister's Facebook from visiting him. Maybe its a bit of jealousy that I feel or just I don't know. It's hard to move on from someone who I thought was the one. I fought so hard to hold onto him and I still don't know if he's holding on to me still.
On another note, I've been rethinking things over with T. I don't feel happy when I'm around him anymore. Part of it is cause I feel like I'm second when it comes to his Facebook. I know he talks and flirts with other girls, but really does he have to do it when I'm sitting right there? I mean TALK TO ME!!! Maybe that's my inner woman just wanting attention, and perhaps a bit of jealousy. But I'm trying to cope with my jealousy cause I don't want to get hurt so I want to start detaching myself from him, which seems to be harder than I thought. Maybe secretly I like the challenge? I don't know... all I know is it's causing me stress and I don't want stress in my life.
I chose "Like We Used To" by A Rocket to the Moon, because I do take T to places me and J went and I can't help but think back to those times. It's hard to let go of someone you fought for so long even when so many told me to let go. Maybe with time letting go won't seem so hard. They say time heals everything but sometimes I'm just too impatient.
It's like no matter what I do and how much I try to move on from J something is still pulling me back and not letting me let go. I finally have some anger built up towards J, yet a part of my stupid heart holds onto him. It doesn't help when I see pictures of him on his sister's Facebook from visiting him. Maybe its a bit of jealousy that I feel or just I don't know. It's hard to move on from someone who I thought was the one. I fought so hard to hold onto him and I still don't know if he's holding on to me still.
On another note, I've been rethinking things over with T. I don't feel happy when I'm around him anymore. Part of it is cause I feel like I'm second when it comes to his Facebook. I know he talks and flirts with other girls, but really does he have to do it when I'm sitting right there? I mean TALK TO ME!!! Maybe that's my inner woman just wanting attention, and perhaps a bit of jealousy. But I'm trying to cope with my jealousy cause I don't want to get hurt so I want to start detaching myself from him, which seems to be harder than I thought. Maybe secretly I like the challenge? I don't know... all I know is it's causing me stress and I don't want stress in my life.
I chose "Like We Used To" by A Rocket to the Moon, because I do take T to places me and J went and I can't help but think back to those times. It's hard to let go of someone you fought for so long even when so many told me to let go. Maybe with time letting go won't seem so hard. They say time heals everything but sometimes I'm just too impatient.
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