So I have been comparing J and T, which I think is natural but I don't know. Anyways I still miss J sometimes because of how special he made me feel. I always felt like I was the only girl he ever wanted to be with; but with T it's different I feel insecure a bit (but I also have to keep in mind T and I are not in a committed relationship).
I find myself wanting to part ways with T on some days, and maybe I should. I just feel like I'm getting attached to the kind of guy that's going to just break my heart. But then again what guy isn't going to? My therapist likes to refer to me as Codependent and I guess I can see it in my relationships. I drop everything and anything to do something for the guy I'm with/I like. I'm constantly looking for a way to help them to show them I care. And I build up this thought in my mind that they truly care for me as much as I do for them. Maybe I still need to grow as an individual more to be able to separate myself from my partners in life.
I chose "Only Girl In the World" by Rihanna for today's post and I think it's clear why. Even though I went through a scary and terrible experience with J; he's still one of the only guys who really made me feel special. I can be one crazy overprotective girlfriend and jealousy is a huge thing of mine but with J those insecurities rarely occurred.
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