So I've been hanging out a lot with one of my guy friends and I wasn't sure about what he felt for me until he kissed me. And although I know that he and I are both not in a place for a relationship its nice to feel those butterflies again. I've been kind of surprised with my hope to find love again and how quickly I bounced back after J. Sure I still love and miss him and wish I could be with him but I need to face the facts and move on.
But let's not get ahead of ourselves here. My relationship/friendship with the new guy is gunna take it's time, cause I'm not over J and he just got out of relationship himself. Both going through transitions, just not wanting to be alone. It might just be perfect timing too since Valentine's Day is right around the corner. I hate Valentine's Day (even when I have a bf). I think it's stupid that people want an excuse to show the person they love that they love them... shouldn't they be doing that everyday? I mean sure I don't expect a guy to do everything that they are expected to do on Valentine's Day but it really is true, it's the little things that count.
Although I'm crushing on the new guy, J will always be part of my life. He was my best friend and I could talk to him for hours about anything and everything. He knows me better than some of my friends do, but with everything that has happened and the time that has gone by I don't know if I can forgive him to the point of letting him have my heart again. I don't know if I'd be able to keep my strength if he comes back into my life. And I know the only way I'm gunna make my dreams happen is if I keep my strength and find those who add to it.
It's been weird to have another guy on my mind more than J, maybe weird isn't the right word but it's definitely a change. I feel like I'm getting too ahead of myself here, I don't want to get my hopes up or anything. But I'm really comfortable around him and I haven't felt that comfort with any guy since J.
So I picked "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes for today's post because it's kinda nice to be wanted by someone else. It's nice to know I could move on and that I'm growing stronger and I guess in a way I'm growing apart from J. It's a hard thing to think about and I'm still VERY confused with what I'm going to do. But it's just nice to know that there are other guys out there who can make me feel wanted and beautiful. There are other guys who help me be the better me... the new guy actually helped me save a wild bird we found at Tennessee Valley Beach. Ever since this school semester started I've been getting into Biology and the wildlife, and the opportunity struck and I got to help the poor thing from death, literally chased away hawks and carried it 2 miles to the trail head to give to the Humane Society. Anyways I'm also including a picture of Ernie, the bird that we saved, you can see the injury on his neck.
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