For the past week I have been finding myself crying over the stress that I'm going through right now. My ass is very close to going to jail if I don't get my community service hours done and take my class before June this year. Then on top of that I have my friends wanting to do things and I'm wanting to do them but all this stress is keeping me from enjoying things. My parents and I got in an argument over me "goofing around" with my friends and not focusing on my court case. After going to court today I see why my parents are upset, but I've made plans with my friends this week and I don't want to take back my RSVP. It's getting difficult to please everyone and I'm forgetting to please myself.
On another note one of J's friends has gotten in contact with me and had asked to meet up and catch up. I'm a bit nervous cause I'm not sure what his friends think of me now that I'm the reason J is in jail. I'm meeting up with him tonight so hopefully all goes smooth.
It's been hard to put that smile on my face and go through my day as if nothing is wrong. I cried in class twice this week and didn't go to basketball due to my depression and injuries I got when I went out on Monday night for my best friend's birthday.
My dreams about J continue and it makes it harder to forget about him. But I've started focusing on me and making sure I can get my life back on track. Still haven't heard about a new job but I have some volunteer hours coming up soon so at least I'm dealing with the more important stuff first.
Fun fact of this post: J's birthday is next week.
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