Sunday, May 13, 2012

Highly Emotional

I went to a bbq for cinco de mayo after going to the river with some friends, it was fun until my break down. I was socializing with everyone and my friend that I brought was off flirting with this guy Mar. and I guess he was getting tired of people taking his hat, but I wasn't aware so I reached for it and he yelled at me. Now if everything in December didn't happen I'm sure I wouldn't be making such a big deal about it but it was the first time a guy has yelled at me like that since J. I freaked out and my first reaction is get the hell out of there so I grabbed my stuff and stormed off to the car and punched a pole. (I fractured my pinkie) Then after that I cooled down I started crying in the car in front of my friends. 

I've been having a hard time with one of my "best friends" I feel like she just doesn't care anymore. I've been trying really hard to be calm about things but it's starting to really get to me. Whenever I try to get together with her is one lame excuse after another. I don't even know if I can even call her a friend anymore cause it's really starting to feel like she could care less about our friendship. I feel so alone lately, my friends either make excuses not to hang out, are too busy to hang out, or make me feel like shit when we do hang out. It's so hard cause after December we were all so close and now I feel like I losing them. 


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