I was in a great relationship with a great guy, who I will be referring to as J; we started dating in September 2011 and he was my best friend. However he was addicted to crystal meth, and I started using with him after a few months of dating. Come the second time we used he abused me... and when the third time came along, he abused me again. But this time we did not make up a phony story to cover up; his mom called the police on him and sent me to the hospital. I had a broken nose and a lot of bruising on my face. This all happened the day before my 21st birthday. My life went from everything I've ever wanted to losing everything. Dealing with the injuries and all the legal aftermath has been causing a lot of stress on my part. But today (2-27-2012) my face is back to normal for the most part but my heart has yet to heal. Losing him that way was so hard because of the great connection we had. People always tell me I deserve better and what not and yes I agree but they don't know my boyfriend and they don't know what we had. It's hard to explain the way I feel about him and its hard to tell people that I'm not completely over him. We had this connection that is impossible to explain to someone else, I could be myself around him and we never fought (except while using). Our relationship is so hard to move on from because of the lack of closure we had and the reason for our separation was caused by a third party. Due to the charges that the state of California is pressing against him there is a protection order that prohibits us from contacting each other. It's hard to go from hanging out with him every day and talking to him every day to literally not being allowed to talk to him or see him.
I've been very confused with everything; my heart and my head are not agreeing and it's been hard to deal with. I love him and I miss him every day. People keep telling me that it stops hurting and that I'll move on and soon he will just be another guy, but I don't see that happening any time soon. I've tried to move on since he's been locked up but I found myself thinking about him while I was with the other guy. I find it hard to go to the places where me and my boyfriend went together many times. I've cried almost every day since the day we were pulled apart....
I've been very confused with everything; my heart and my head are not agreeing and it's been hard to deal with. I love him and I miss him every day. People keep telling me that it stops hurting and that I'll move on and soon he will just be another guy, but I don't see that happening any time soon. I've tried to move on since he's been locked up but I found myself thinking about him while I was with the other guy. I find it hard to go to the places where me and my boyfriend went together many times. I've cried almost every day since the day we were pulled apart....
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